Broken Dreams
by Lyrical.Laughter
Summary: Kay must make amends with her past and discover her future, and whether or not Miguel can play a part in it. Repost
1. Running Away

A/N: I am updating all the chapters in this fic and fixing spelling mistakes, this story takes place before Kay turned into the person she is on Passions today, so in the year 2000. I always thought the character had great potential and I feel it has been wasted on the show so here is a story that shows a vulnerable, caring Kay that owns up to her mistakes and learns from them. 

Disclaimer: Passions belongs to JER and NBC and I don't own ot or the characters and I'm not making money from them so don't sue. 

Kayla Belay, as she now called herself sat on her bed listening to a soft song about love and her eyes welled up with tears. It had been an exceptionally hard day. She'd lost one of her patients that morning, a young man, with a tumor in his liver, he had been hopefully waiting for a liver transplant but now he didn't have to wait anymore, he was happy now, peaceful, without pain.   
She ran her fingers through her shoulder length hair knowing there were a few strands of gray starting to peak out, she was only thirty, too young for gray hair in her opinion.  
Kayla got off of her bed and started pacing around the room, she hated losing a patient it always brought back so many memories. Some good, some bad, as memories always were. She thought about that day twelve long years ago, it had changed her life in so many ways, for the good. But that day it seemed as if her whole life was over. She remembered it as clearly as if it had happened the day before.  
  
  


* * *

  
Kay Bennett got up out of bed and yawned. Today was the day she would get Miguel, she knew it. She spent almost an hour doing her hair, putting on her make-up, making sure she looked perfect for Miguel; today he was going to see her, really see her. She thought that if she could look beautiful he would realize what he was missing, but it never did really seem to work. He seemed to look right through her, like she was nothing, and sometimes that's how she felt. She walked downstairs but stopped halfway down, because there was Miguel... down on one knee... proposing to Charity. Kay stood there, outraged, that was supposed to be her, not crazy premonition girl, HER. She ran down the stairs and out of the door, to get away from him, to get away from the betrayal she felt.  
She spent the whole day at the wharf, it was freezing and she had forgotten her coat but she didn't care, she wasn't hungry, or thirsty, hot or cold, she was just there, staring at the water trying to make sense out of it, he had to love her, not Charity, Charity wasn't ever going to love him forever, she couldn't, it was Kay's fate, her mission in life, to love him forever and to make him happy.  
Kay got home and immediately she saw that something wasn't right Charity, Grace, Simone, Jessica and Miguel were all in the kitchen sitting around the table looking angry.   
Kay walked in and was greeted by cold and angry stares. She didn't know what was wrong but then she saw it. Laying on the table open in front of everyone was her diary, a record of every bad thought she had had about Charity and every bad act she had committed against her fair-haired cousin. Time stood still for a time but everything was put back into motion by a sound resounding through the room, the sound of her mother's hand as it connected with her cheek.  
"How dare you Kay!" said Grace taking the diary and throwing it across the room where it hit the wall with a boom and fell to the floor.  
"I-I…" Was all that would come out of her mouth.   
"I can't believe you could treat Charity, your own cousin, like this after all she has been through! You spilled fish guts on her and made her think she was going crazy. I just can't believe you. I don't even want to look at you, I don't know how you can be my daughter, I am ashamed to even be your mother! I don't want to be your mother! I raised you in a loving, religious home and you turn out like this! When you turn eighteen next month I want you out of this house," she said angrily  
"Kay, how could you even do this, you are the most hateful, horrible person I have ever met," said Jessica glaring at her.  
"Kay, I thought we were friends, I thought you cared about me but after all of this I wish I wasn't your cousin, I wish I had never met you. You are an evil heartless person, Kay," said Charity with tears in her big blue eyes.  
Kay looked at Simone and realized her friend must have found out about her lying and saying she had heard Chad say that he was in love with Simone, her thoughts were confirmed when Simone spoke.  
"Kay, how could you betray me like this, you KNEW Chad didn't love me and you made me think he did. I hate you!" she said rushing out of the room crying.  
Kay looked at Miguel trying to find forgiveness or understanding in his eyes but he looked at her with a stare that actually made tears fall from her eyes. "Miguel-," she said as tears poured down her cheeks.   
"Kay, I don't know who you are, I don't know what you are. How could you do this to Charity? You are just a selfish brat. All this time I thought you were my friend but when you didn't get your way you had to hurt people. I can't even stand to be in the same room with you," he said as he and Charity got up and went into the living room.  
Kay ran upstairs and wrote two letters, as quickly as her hands could write down her jumbled thoughts.  
  
_ Dear Dad,   
I know you have a lot going on with the baby coming and Charity but I feel like there is no more room in your life for me. I know you are going to be disappointed in me when you find out what I did to Charity and when you find out I've left and I'm sorry. When the baby comes the house will be too crowded and I'll just disappear to everyone, although it's like I already have, so I've decided to make things easier and leave now. Over the past year and a half I've had to watch Charity take my best friend and the man I love away from me. Then she took my mother and even my own sister. She's the daughter Mom has always wanted me to be. I know Charity has had some hard times and I didn't exactly help but she has taken everything I ever loved or wanted. I wanted a car but Mom spent the money on her. I wanted my own room but she got it, it sounds selfish and petty but it's how I feel.  
The one thing I wanted more than anything else was Miguel and she took him away too. I have had to stand here for a year and half and watch them kiss, declare their love, go out on dates, be Prom Queen and King and even watch them get engaged before my eyes while I stand in the background with a broken heart. I just can't take it any more. And now they all know what I've done. Anyway I've decided to go to California, I already bought a bus ticket and I should be there in a few days please don't look for me. I know to you it may seem like I'm leaving for stupid reasons but you don't know how I feel and how much it hurts. Dad, you are the only one who loves me anymore, you treat me and Charity equally. I want you to know I love you and I'll keep in touch.  
Kay  
  
_ She also left one for Miguel and it was easier than she would have thought possible bur they had been words she'd been thinking up in her head for years, because it was how she felt so she just wrote down everything she'd been aching to say her whole life.  
  
_ Miguel,   
If you have this it means that you know I'm gone. I wonder how long it took for some one to realize I wasn't around? I guess it doesn't matter because after a couple weeks you'll forget all about me, you will probably be relieved that I'm not there to sabotage you and Charity anymore. There is one thing I want you to know before you read any further. I love you, and I have loved you for as long as I can remember. We've done everything together, we went to the zoo for the first time together, played softball together, learned how to write and tie our shoes together, and we were even each others first kiss even though we were only kids. It was always Kay and Miguel or Miguel and Kay. Our names were always connected… we were always connected. I always wanted to be with you, you were perfect to me. You were sweet, considerate and you always looked out for me. You have no idea how it feels to have one person come and take all of that away.  
  
When Charity came to town I thought I could handle it because she was just a girl from out of town that you had a crush on but when I found out she was my cousin I felt even worse. I wonder a lot that if I would have been in the burning house with Charity and you could have only saved one of us who would you have saved; I think it would be her. I'm not a part of your life anymore, not a big part anyway. You say I'm your best friend but I don't think I am anymore. All you do is talk about Charity, she's the only thing in your life, you see her everyday and you are hardly ever at home and you never hang out with just me. I know you love her but did you ever think about how all of this makes me feel? When you want to do something you always ask Charity to do it with you, it's like you forgot I even exist.  
  
Since you and everyone else read my diary you know I have been trying to break you and Charity up since the beginning and I've done some really horrible things to her. Please tell her that I'm sorry.  
There are three things I would like to tell you about, that I would like you to know. First off during the avalanche that we had last year, I was worried about you, I was more than worried. When I found out you were out there with Charity I left the Ski lodge when everyone told me it was too dangerous and that you could even be dead. I was freezing and scared but I had to make sure you were alright. I found you and Charity together and I thought you were dead. I never wanted to feel that kind of pain again but I did only a few minutes later. I told you that I loved you and you woke up and said someone's love had brought you back but you meant Charity. Hearing you say that made me feel that same pain but it was some how worse and then today when you looked at me I felt that same pain again and it was almost unbearable.   
Then there was the prom… I was scared you were going to die when you went off in that boat for Charity and left me behind. I was scared and I wanted you there with me but you just left, I know if you had to die you would want to die with Charity. But I was scared to death when the boat was rocking and the lights were going out and you weren't there to help me. You left me and I felt abandoned. And last but not least there was the mine shaft. I can still feel your lips on mine when we kissed and I know everything was real, nothing can convince me it wasn't. You said that if Charity hadn't come along then we would be together. How do you think that made me feel? I wanted her to die. One person had ruined my whole future.   
I just can't stand by and watch you get married and make a family with her. I'd end up standing in the back of the church watching her walk down the aisle and promise to love and be with you forever, when in my heart I would wish it was me. I would then do something stupid to get back at her for taking you. I would saw the heel of her shoe so she'd trip as she walked down the aisle off or steal her wedding dress or pour paint on her minutes before the ceremony started but that probably wouldn't stop you. So then I would have to watch as you had children. I know you would make a good father and I would have to watch as you play with your children when the whole time I would be wishing they were our children and I'd end up resenting them for being Charity's. Everyday I would have to watch you celebrate your love and I just can't handle it. I've done some drastic things that I'm not proud of because I didn't want to watch you and Charity together while I torture myself wishing it was me that you loved. I just need to forget about you and start over and maybe I can change. Thinking of you, being around you, just hurts too much, my jealousy toward Charity makes me a bad person inside and it makes me feel horrible. I'm going to find a place where I belong and I hope you'll respect that and leave me alone.   
Love, Kay   
  
_

* * *

  
Kayla wiped her eyes as she remembered, that was the last time she had seen her sister, cousin, or her mother. She laughed cynically at the tears that fell from her eyes. It had all been a lesson she had needed to learn, and she had learned from it and that was all that mattered but she couldn't keep a huge wave of shame from washing over her at the thought of the person she used to be and the things that she had done.   
She walked into the kitchen and going over to the refrigerator she stopped. Hanging on the refrigerator was a picture of a very handsome young man with dark brown hair and beautiful blue eyes. Kay smiled, she couldn't help but smile or cry when she looked at that picture, it just depended on her day. She pulled out a bottle of water and gently touched the picture with tears in her eyes. She went into the living room and sat on the comfortable sofa. She took the blanket at the end of the sofa and pulled it over herself. She then took a drink of her water and laid back thinking about the first time she had met him, everyday for the last twelve years she had thought about him, he was still as much a part of her life as if he was right there with her, but he wasn't.  



	2. Meetings

A/N: This is a story in which Kay remembers her past so it might be a little confusing. When "Kayla" is talking it is the present and when "Kay" and "AJ" are talking it is the past. 

Kayla smiled to herself, when she had decided to run away she hadn't really planned to go to California, too many runaways went there and she hadn't wanted to be in a big city. So she went to neighboring town of Castleton, thinking that the police would be to busy looking towards California to even think that she was in the next town, and she'd been right. She'd even paid a girl to say that she saw her on the bus to California. Kayla remembered the disguise she'd worn, a red wig and sun glasses as she got on the nearly empty bus to Castleton, that's when she had met him.  


* * *

  
Kay went to the back of the bus, trying to hide her face so no one saw her, her stomach was in knots, she couldn't believe she was actually running away and leaving Harmony behind for good. She wanted to get off the bus and run home but she couldn't, they didn't want her around so she wasn't going to go back. Pride was a very stubborn trait. She sat her backpack on her lap and looked across the aisle where a guy about her age with dark hair and blue eyes was wearing a heavy black coat. His coat made his skin look even paler. He looked as sick as she felt and she wondered if there was anything she could do to help.   
"Are you alright?"  
"I'm fine," he said smiling, and he had a beautiful smile. "My name is AJ," he said holding out his hand.  
She shook it and smiled back. "I'm Kay-la," she said not wanting to use her real name.  
"Are you going to Castleton?" he asked making conversation.  
"Yeah," she said turning around and looking out the window.  
"That's where I live, I was in Harmony for my step cousin's wedding but it was canceled."  
"Step cousin?" Kay asked curiously as she turned back and looked at him, somehow talking to him didn't make her feel so alone in the world.  
"Yeah, my mom married this guy, Edward Winthrop, who is Ivy Crane's brother which would make her son Ethan my step cousin. I was invited to Ethan's wedding because Ivy and I are really close. Anyway, her son Ethan broke up with his fiancée and canceled the wedding, so for the week I've just been at the Crane Mansion hanging out."  
"I didn't know you were related to Mrs. Crane, she and my mother are friends, kind of any way."  
"Small world, huh? What's your last name? Maybe she mentioned your mom or something," said AJ scooting over to the edge of his seat so he could hear her better over the growling motor of the old bus.  
"Bennett," she said hesitantly, but a part of her felt that for some reason she could trust AJ.  
"Are you related to Sam Bennett?" he asked curiously.   
"Uh ..Yeah, he's my Dad," she said as a wave of guilt went over her, her Dad was going to be so upset when he found out that she had left, and the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him.   
"And your Mother is still friends with Ivy even after what happened?"  
"What do you mean?" Kay asked a little confused.  
"You know, with Ivy being Mr. Bennett's high school sweetheart."  
"You must have the wrong guy, my Dad never went out with Mrs. Crane," said Kay incredulously.  
"He's the Police Chief right? Ivy always talks about this one great love and I found her locket and she told me it was Sam Bennett."  
"That is so weird. It does explain why she comes over a lot. Does she still love him or something?"  
"Yeah, but I guess I really shouldn't be talking about all of this since he's your father and everything. So why are you going to Castleton?"  
"Business," Kay said from the top of her tongue.  
"Business? You only look about seventeen."  
"Yeah, well it's top secret," she instantly regretted her poor excuse and she felt her cheeks go red.  
"Oh, okay," he said smiling.  


* * *

  
Kayla sighed, she wished desperately that she could go back to that time in her life, meeting him had been the first step in her new life, her new beginning. Without him she wouldn't be where she was. She owed him so much and she never wanted to forget anything about him, she loved seeing him smile, he was such a beautiful person inside and out and she wished that he had never left her. His eyes were a beautiful shade of light blue, and he had a bright smile that made his dimples stand out and gave him the look of a mischievous boy. His hair was curly on top and she smiled, she had loved those little curls.  


* * *

  
After about fifteen more minutes the bus stopped at the Castleton bus station. Kay nervously stood up and got off carrying her back pack, she had no idea where she was going to go or what she was going to do, suddenly her great plan to leave Harmony didn't seem so great after all, she didn't have much money and she needed a job, but she couldn't use any references from Harmony or they would no where she was. She felt like she was going to cry, she should have thought things through, but she had always been impulsive, never thinking her actions through, she was just about to get a bus ticket back to Harmony when she saw AJ heading towards her.   
"Do you need a ride to your hotel? It's too cold to wait all day for a taxi," just as he said that it started to snow and Kay had to admit she was cold.  
"I…uh...guess," she said nervously, maybe he could give her a ride back home.  
"You do have a hotel, right?" he asked.  
"I was just about to find one," she replied defensively, there was her pride coming out again, how could she admit to a total stranger how stupid she was?  
"You can stay at my house, my mother wouldn't mind, she loves company."  
"That's really okay, thanks though," she said but a part of her wanted to accept the offer, she really didn't want to go home, maybe if she stayed with AJ for a night she could go home tomorrow and everything would have cooled down.  
"It's getting late, why don't you just stay there tonight and we'll find you a hotel first thing in the morning.  
"Okay," she said hesitantly.  
"There's our ride," he said, and to her surprise he led her to a black limo.  
She nervously got in and sat down. "I've never been in a limo before."   
"Neither had I until my mom got married. Do you want anything to drink?" he asked offering her a soda.  
"Yeah, thanks."  
"I have a question I'd like to ask, if you don't mind," he said with a roguish smile.  
"Okay," said Kay slowly.  
"Why are you wearing a wig and sunglasses?"  
"Uh the light bouncing off the snow hurts my eyes," she said lamely.  
"The sun hasn't been out for the last few hours," he countered suspiciously though his eyes were bright with humor.  
"Well, yeah, I know I just uh forgot to take them off," she said slipping them off and putting them in her back-pack.  
"What about the wig?" he asked trying to hold back his laughter, she could see he thought it was funny.  
"My hair, I got this really horrible hair cut so I bought this," she said feeling embarrassed.  
"Can I see it?"  
"See what?" she asked forgetting what he was talking about.  
"Your hair cut," he said laughing.  
"N-no that's not a good idea."   
He looked into her eyes and Kay turned around and looked out of the tinted windows. It was just weird the connection she felt with him. She had the insane urge to just start laughing and she did when, a moment later, he pulled the wig off of her head. She couldn't help herself but the whole situation was just hilarious, here she was, trying to be inconspicuous and he saw right through her. Kay hadn't laughed as hard as she did then in a while; it was like she had known him for a long time. She asked him why he took it off of her head and then he said.  
"I wanted to see if you were really as beautiful as I thought you were," he said and with a smile he threw the wig out the window where it landed in the snow.  
That one compliment tied Kay's stomach in knots and she didn't even know why.  
  
Kay knew she shouldn't be staying at a total stranger's house but it somehow felt right. AJ took out a key and opened the door and that's when she met his mother, she had pretty red hair and she wore a smile but when she saw AJ it fell a little.  
"AJ, honey you look a little pale, are you okay?" she asked concerned.  
"I'm fine, Mom," he said smiling brushing her concern aside. "This is my friend, Kay, I met her while I was in Harmony, I was hoping she could stay with us for awhile."  
"Of course, God knows we have enough space in this big old house," she said with a jolly laugh and Kay instantly liked her. "Stay as long as you like and you can call me Susan, we'll have so much fun while you stay, won't we?"  
Kay smiled, she had heard of being welcomed with open arms but this woman's hospitality was amazing.  
"I'll go make us some tea, AJ do you want any of your medicine?"  
"No mom, I'm fine."  
AJ put his coat on the coat rack and then lead Kay to the living room. There was something about Kay that called to him and he didn't quite no what it was, she was beautiful of course but she seemed so unsure of life and where she belonged, he had felt that way a lot himself. He sat down across from her.  
"Your house is beautiful and your mother is very-," she searched for a word.  
"Zealous?" Finished AJ.  
"Yeah, exactly," she said smiling.  
The living room was expensively designed but it had a homey feel to it, and she was surprised that her stomach ache had gone away, this was like a grand adventure and she realized that she was beginning to enjoy herself, she was glad that her despair had faded away, this was a new start and she was determined to make it a good one. Susan came back with the tea and she spent some time talking to AJ about Ivy and how things were in Harmony and Kay just sipped her tea and listened. After a while a maid brought out sandwiches and Kay dug in, she hadn't eaten all day and she was starving. After they were done eating AJ showed her upstairs to the guest room and Kay took that opportunity to tell him that she didn't randomly go home with stranger on a regular basis.   
"Then let's not be strangers any more. My name is Andrew Johnson but you can call me AJ," she told him she was Kay Bennett it made no sense anymore to use a fake name when he already knew she was a Bennett. Kay walked into her new room and it was very beautiful, it had a large canopy bed and all the furniture looked brand new, when she had decided to run away she had never thought she would end up sleeping in the mansion. Fate must be looking out for me, she thought.  
Kay looked out the window and there was a beautiful pond, it reminded her of Miguel, every winter they went ice-skating together and Kay remembered their long walks in the snow as they sipped hot-chocolate, that had been before Charity and now it was in the past and she was going to keep it that way.   
AJ saw her looking wistfully at the pond, "If you want we can go skating sometime, the pond is frozen."  
"Sure, I'd like that," she said turning around. "I have to find a job first," she muttered but AJ heard her.  
"My mother is looking for a personal secretary, she owns a cosmetic company, I'll put in a good word for you."  
"Thanks," she said with genuine gratefulness, he was being so nice to her, and for no reason at all. Normally she would have been suspicious but…she trusted him.   
"You're welcome, well, I'll let you settle in, if you need anything my room is down the hall and to the right and the end of the hall."  
Kay remembered his mother's persistence about his medication and how pale he had looked earlier.  
"Are you okay? You look a little pale."  
"No, I'm just getting over a little cold."  


* * *

  
Kayla stretched out on the couch and yawned, water bottle in hand. That was the best thing that she ever did, going home with him. She got up and went to the phone book to order dinner for her and her room mate who was going to be home soon. She found the number of their favorite take out place and then sat back down in the dark letting her mind wander back into the past.  



	3. Calling Home

** Disclaimer: Passions belongs to JER and NBC and I don't own ot or the characters and I'm not making money from them so don't sue. **

A/N: This whole chapter takes place in the past, sorry for the delay, I'll try harder to update more frequently from now on. 

Kay woke up to the cold winter sunlight filling her room, she was ready to go downstairs, sit around the table with her family and eat her mom's famous pancakes and then it all came crashing down on her, she was in a strange house, in a strange bed and her family wasn't just down the hall, she was alone. She sat there on the bed, going over everything that had happened the day before. She tried to push away all of the fear and sadness that she felt but it lingered there like a cloud. She wanted to go home, to apologize, but she was stubborn and she couldn't go crawling back there, her tail between her legs, she was going to make this work because she had to, she had to survive and show them all that she could do just fine by herself. With a slightly better outlook on the future, she briskly got up and took a long hot shower in the gigantic bathroom that was connected to her room. She got dressed and then decided to venture out, it was the first day of her new life and she wasn't going to let anything get her down.  
Twenty minutes later she was miserable. She was sitting at the table with AJ and his mother, looking through the classifieds and it seemed her chances of getting a job were pretty dismal, there were few jobs that she was qualified for and the few that she was required references, she didn't know what to do.  
"Kay, dear, you look as if the world has just crashed at your feet, what's wrong?" asked Susan, AJ's mother.   
"Nothing," said Kay putting on a false smile, "I'm just job hunting."  
"Well! You should have said something earlier, I have a position I've been trying to fill for ages at my company."  
"Really?" asked Kay trying not to get her hopes up, this could be the perfect opportunity to get a job, she didn't care if it was cleaning toilettes.   
"I'm looking for a personal assistant, are you interested?"  
"What would I have to do?" she was all ready to accept but she didn't want to seem pathetically desperate.   
"Make sure I don't forget my appointments, or personal obligations, answer my phone for me if I'm busy, run errands, just generally make sure I don't lose my mind," she said with a laugh.  
"I'm definitely interested."  
"Good, you can start tomorrow. I leave at 8 o'clock in the morning so be ready, we can work out pay and benefits tomorrow. The pool house is empty so you're welcome to move in there until you find something more permanent or you can stay in the guest room, which ever you prefer, well I'd better get going, Andrew will show you around I'm sure. Bye!"  
Kay had her mouth opened in shock, in a matter of seconds she'd been hired for a job that sounded great, it felt like huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders.  
"She does that a lot, once she gets an idea in her head she goes full steam ahead, I think you'll like working for her," said AJ from across the table where he was observing her with an amused smile.  
"I didn't even get a chance to thank her for hiring me."  
"Don't worry about it. I can show you the pool house after breakfast if you want."  
"I'd like that, thanks," Kay finished her breakfast and decided that if she was lucky everything might work out after all.  
  
AJ showed her the pool house and she decided that she wanted to live there, it was a little small but she knew she'd love it. AJ told her that he would have a maid furnish it for her and Kay was surprised at how fast her new life was going, but just behind the excitement and the happiness was the longing for home, that she felt would never go away.   
He took her to his mother's cosmetic company, Seduction, and gave her the grand tour, it was pretty big and there were lots of people milling about but Kay decided that it had a friendly atmosphere. From there they went to a small coffee shop that reminded her painfully of the Book Café. They sat down across from each other at a small table and began to talk.  
"So why aren't you in school?" she asked him and she was reminded of her own school, there were only a few months of school left and then she would have graduated, she knew that she needed an education and would eventually have to get her diploma but for now she blocked it out of her mind.  
"I graduated a year early, I was home schooled so I was pretty much ahead of regular high school."  
"Wow, so are you going to college?"  
"Not right now, but I want to someday, I was planning on becoming a doctor. What about you?"  
"I don't really know, I wanted to be a lawyer once but now I don't know, pretty lame, huh? I should be making plans and deciding my future. My cousin has her life all planned out but of course I don't, I'm the screw up," she hadn't meant to bring Charity into the conversation but after years of constantly having to match the perfect, angelic, Charity it was hard to separate herself from the comparisons.   
"Regardless of what other people say I think that it's not always good to have your life planned out because if one thing goes wrong then everything else seems to fall apart. Living life by the moment is much better."  
"I wish everyone thought like that," she said taking a sip of her cappuccino. "I want to thank you for taking me in like you have and letting me stay with you and everything, it means a lot to me." He didn't know how much, if it wasn't for him she might be living on the streets, she repressed a shudder.  
"It was my pleasure."  
She really liked Andrew and they got along well, and he even made her forget how sad and lonely she was by making her laugh. They spent the rest of the afternoon talking and then they decided to go back to the mansion. As Kay looked out the window as they drove back she thought about Miguel and she knew she had to talk to him, she had to call him and tell him goodbye.  
  
She sat by the phone in the den, chewing her bottom lip, trying to work up her courage, what if he apologized and told her that he wanted her to go back? Would she? She hated the answer that formed in her mind, if he asked her to come back then she would, as much as she wanted to forget about him and move on she couldn't, at least without knowing whether he missed her or not.  
With shaking hands she picked up the phone and dialed his number, it rung once…twice…she was just about to hang up when she heard his voice.  
"Hello."   
Kay closed her eyes and tried to will her tears away.   
"It's Kay," she said softly, she wanted to apologize, to beg his forgiveness for everything.  
"What do you want? Is something wrong with Charity?" asked Miguel tightly.  
"How would I know?" Kay asked bewildered.  
"Will you please go to her room and check on her? Just don't dump anything on her," he said alluding to the fish guts at the prom, she could hear the disdain in his voice.   
It felt like the world was spinning, he didn't even know that she had left, did anyone? It was getting hard to breathe but she managed to speak anyway.  
"Goodbye, Miguel" she said as she hung up the phone and collapsed into the chair in tears.  
Any excitement that she had begun to feel about being on her own was quickly extinguished in light of the fact that no one had even noticed she was gone, no one. The tears came harder and sobs caught in her throat, how could no one care? Was she that unloved? The tears fell faster and she could never remember feeling so unwanted, and then AJ's arms wrapped around her and she didn't feel so alone anymore.  
  



End file.
